As many of you know I begin my yoga teacher training intensive tomorrow and I am feeling a tonne of emotions. Excitement, fear, confusion, self doubt, giddiness – you name it I’m feeling it.
Many paths have led me to this point and so I wanted to break down what it was that got me to where I am.
Firstly, yoga itself!
I started training at The Power Yoga Company in Parsons Green when I moved to Fulham and fell in love with the deep physical practise almost immediately. I have always liked to push myself physically and it offered immense challenges to what I thought my body was already capable of. However, it was the mental tranquillity that really captivated me. At the time, work was pretty stressful for me and I would often leave the office feeling tired and deflated at silly o’clock – but the times when I forced myself onto the mat were the times I had my best practises. My mind would shift, I would stop feeling negative thoughts towards the people who made me feel shitty and I felt like I was becoming the best possible version of myself.
Yoga started to shift how I saw the world and so in a really clichéd way you could say it started to change my life and me with it.
I decided to sign up to a week long retreat with Erin Prichard in Santorini last May and it was UNREAL. I had the best week ever – totally chilled, lots of yoga and Santorini was just breath taking.
Whilst on this week long retreat I spoke with a fellow yogi who had recently completed the teacher training and he said I was strong enough to do it. It had never crossed my mind before because I genuinely thought in order to complete the training you needed to be able to do a headstand whilst drinking a green smoothie with one hand and doing a peace sign with the other. I didn’t feel good enough – but he told me otherwise – and from that moment I couldn’t stop thinking about it.
I looked into the training as a way to further my practise and the more I read the more I became confident that I could complete it – so I signed up.
Since signing up so many things have happened in my life that have lead me to believe that yoga teacher training was inevitable and that maybe I should be a teacher.
This week alone so many things haven’t gone my way, I’ve been left thinking “why me, when am I going to get some good luck”. Truth is maybe its all lead me to tomorrow. That nothing has worked out quite how I dreamt it would purely because it wasn’t meant to.
Who knows – hey I might hate it but at least I am giving myself the opportunity to explore it and do it for me! For once in my life I am doing something purely for me – not for anyone else, and not for anyone else’s approval. Just me. And that in itself feels so bloody empowering.