Diary of a chocoholic

The bio on my Twitter account reads “diary of a chocoholic” because ever since I can remember I have had a ridiculous addiction to chocolate. It’s never bothered me – it’s my only real vice. I work out and eat relatively well and I’m not a party animal so eating my body weight in chocolate seemed OK to me. Another little thing you should know about me is that I am competitive. I want to win and be the best at everything. So when The Boy said there was no way I would give up chocolate for lent I felt challenged and determined to prove everyone wrong.

Every single year since the age of about 5 or 6 pancake day would come around (one of my favourite days of the year – I was pancake queen at uni with my 3am Curly Wurly pancakes) and I would stuff my face with pancakes and melted chocolate. I would wake up on Ash Wednesday and if I was lucky I would remember my lenton promise and I wouldn’t eat chocolate. The longest I ever went was when I was about 16 and I gave it up for about 10 day. I had many exceptions to my “chocolate” exclusion though and believed chocolate cake and other non “chocolate bar forms of chocolate” was acceptable. So in essence I didn’t even give up for 10 days because I was still munching away on brownies.

Fast forward to 2016 and it just clicked. I woke up the morning after pancake day and just gave up chocolate. Just like that.

The first week was difficult as there was still loads of it in the house and at work. I got pretty snappy, although mainly at myself to the amusement of my housemates and I felt a bit aggressive (mentally speaking lol). But once I got through the first week it wasn’t too bad – every time I turned to chocolate I would just question whether this piece would be really worth breaking my promise.  And the answer was usually no.

I just couldn’t wait for my big Easter egg on Easter Sunday and wanted to love every piece of it.  You know when you put a piece of chocolate on your tongue and just let your saliva glands go cray cray.

As the weeks rolled on I didn’t even think about chocolate. Yes I know I just substituted chocolate for custard creames but seriously – this was a big deal for me.

The night before Easter Sunday I was all alone at home – I waited up until midnight so lent was officially over and I opened my first egg.

I ate half of it and felt like crap after. Firstly – the taste wasn’t the same. It didn’t over joy me and just left me feeling a bit underwhelmed.
Secondly I genuinely felt rotten after!! I was amazed.

Lent has been over for two weeks now and I have become so blaze about chocolate. I haven’t even opened my second Easter egg when in the past I would have demolished not only mine but everyone else’s too.

It’s incredible how much we don’t really realise what we are doing to our body until we make a change. A part of me is a little sad because, like I said ,it was my own real vice – now what?

Regardless – it seemed all I needed was a challenge to mentally get over chocolate and to prove I could. I’m thinking of cutting down on custard creams now in a bid to make this change a positive one.

Next step – total sugar wipe out???

 

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